Hermione Granger and The Missing Underwear
by Trinale Porsche
Summary: Hermione Granger was one normal teenager who loved books, grades, and her underwears! What happens when she's all left alone in Grimmauld Place with 5 MALES? And what's worse is that her favorite underwear goes missing? Pre-Deathly Hallows. FINISHED.
1. Something Missing

**Author's Notes: **Hell! Mystery won for the votations! I'm currently having my exams, but do not fear, I shall never neglect this story, or week. As you can see, this story is for my **MYSTERY WEEK** which will be then, obviously, **7** chapters.

Song of Inspiration: **American Idiot by Green Day **(Something Random, this story came to me while I was listening to it.)

I won't suggest to listen to it while reading this, but, you may use any happy song, since is this a bit of comedy and stuffs.

**Added Information: **Harry, Ron, Hermione and Draco are currently 16, while Fred and George are 18. And here, Sirius is not dead.

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Are Your Underwears still complete? Be sure and Beware.**

**Thou Shall Not Imitate This Girl. **(NOT!)

**Here it is.**

**5**

**4**

**3**

**2**

**1**

**Oh yeah and I'd also like to promote...**

**Glares. Glares.**

**Uh...Nevermind.**

**ENJOY!**

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**Hermione Granger and The Missing Underwear**

**Chapter One: Something Missing**

The night was solemn and the air was eerily quiet. Everything stayed still as the moon appeared full that night. Well, everything except for the mysterious Grimmauld Place 12.

"So you say that the Ministry wants you to come over for some serious discussions?..." Harry asked quietly, staring at the five adults at the end of the table.

"Yes, that should be about it, Harry."

"For how many days?" Hermione piped in, narrowing her eyes. Ron was quietly drinking his firewhiskey, situated at the middle, ogling at both sides. His head turned from left to right whenever someone chose to speak.

"A week." Lupin, who had taken his usual Wolfsbane potion, answered as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Which…was **NOT TRUE AT ALL.**

"What?!" All hell broke loose. **Mt. Granger erupted**.

"You mean you're saying, you lot are going to _leave, _leave _ME, _to take care of these boys! Did you even consider this—"

"Calm down, Hermione dear. Of course we did, but we believe that with your—"

"Don't go using that tone on me, Sirius. You know flattery doesn't work all—"

"Geez, calm down Granger…" Draco whispered behind her. Yes, Draco Malfoy had turned in to the Light Side, accepting the protection Albus Dumbledore had offered him. He lives now in Grimmauld Place 12, along with Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"_How can I possibly calm down?!_" She shrieked, clearly taking notice of the last name basis. Draco and Hermione were now on first name basis, and only when he was annoyed did he ever use Granger.

"_Herms,_ you'll have with you Fred and George, that wouldn't be a—"

"—problem, Tonks? They're frigging boys too if you haven't remembered!" She pointed at Fred and George, who were whistling innocently at the corner.

"Maybe you can _dress_ them like girls."

"What? Who's making us—"

"Dress like girls, huh?"

"That'll look adorable, boys!"

"Mom! You're impossi—"

"That's not the **FUCKING MATTER!**" All eyes turned to the bushy-haired female teen, shocked. It was such an _honor_ to witness THE Hermione Granger swear.

"What did you say, Hermione?"

"I said that's not the _Fucking Matter_." She whispered icily, raising her eyebrow at Ron who was choking to death. He was drinking when she had said those words from her _very tidy and blessed mouth_.

"Oooh. Say it again, Hermione, that's music to my ears!" Sirius gleefully exclaimed. Molly turned to him sharply, her hand on her waist.

"Well, Hermione, as much as you hate it, you'll have to stick with it. We don't ask you to look after the boys at all. Just be normal, it's just like living _peacefully _with them like every other day, the only difference is without us," Arthur turned to himself along with the four other, "dwelling here."

"You know Mr. Weasley, as much as I hate to say it also, that is the problem. How the hell can I _peacefully_ live with them?!" She gestured to the boys near her.

Fred and George were now pouring Firewhiskey on Ron's hair that had turned violet because of Fred's hex. Ron was drunk and was hiccupping nonstop. Harry had stolen Draco's gel from his pocket (LOL, he even keeps it in his pocket?) and was now trying to act innocent as Draco, with his eyes covered with malice and the urge to kill, was searching for his beloved gel.

.

.

.

All Tonks could giver her was a weak smile.

* * *

The adults had left the headquarters to proceed to the Ministry despite of Hermione's protests. Hermione now sat quietly in the dining table, looking at a very drunk Ron. Her temper was in danger zone, and unfortunately, Ron is the possible victim.

Which he really was.

"Why the hell are you drinking, Ronald?" Hermione asked grumpily.

"_Ish_ it wrong?" Ron asked innocently.

"Yes, wrong for people who have **no brain**."

"And why _ish_ that?!"

"Because there would be non to control the amount of liquid being taken by the body so you'll end up as a water bed." She said, smirking.

This lame joke was all it took to make Ron blow up.

"Why you! How dare you _acusshe_ me of drinking! I _wash_ not drinking! I _wash_ merely shtaring at the _drinksh_! I…I'm gonna!..."

"Spit it out, drunkard best friend of mine, I don't have all evening."

"**I'm gonna steal your undies!**"

.

.

.

Crickets whispers.

Crookshanks yawns.

A fly went to sip at the Firewhiskey Ron was drinking.

.

.

.

And with that, Ron slumped on to the table, snoring loudly. Hermione just rolled her eyes and went up to her room to sleep peacefully. She could hear laughter from the boys' room.

_Whatever…_

* * *

**Deep in the night…**

"Finally…it is mine! _My preciousssss_…"

"What if someone tries to steal _my preciousss_?"

"I shall keep it; no one shall know I was the one who stole _my preciousss…_"

"Yes, _my preciousss_ shall stay with me forever." The weird person started to bombard 'my precioussss' with kisses as the weird person exited the room of another **weird** person. (LOL)

* * *

"Morning." Draco yawned widely as he seated on his chair. He was holding a mug of hot chocolate, still dressed in his PJ's. His hair was messed, (since he did not find the thief who had stolen his gel) and his eyes were still drooping.

Harry mumbled back the same greeting, also droopy. He accidentally spilled his hot chocolate on Ron's hair which now turned to orange due to the heat.

.

.

.

However, he did not budge at all and continued to snore loudly.

"Did he sleep there?" Fred asked George, who was just beside him.

"Dunno, mate."

"Yeah, he did. I woke up seeing him down here already." Harry nodded, drinking his hot chocolate.

_"Gross_. Anyway, where's Herm—"

"**WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**" Someone had shouted upstairs. This rather loud sound had resulted to Harry pouring all his hot chocolate on the hair of Ron who still did not budge, made Draco spill his into his PJ's especially on his, ehem, _manhood part_. (Ouch, that hurts.) Fred and George had swallowed whole the hot chocolate which inflamed their throats.

Hell. This was hell.

"What the **FUCK** is that?!" Draco shouted, looking very pissed. His PJ now contained a very brown stain.

"It's 'Mione! Come on, upstairs!"

The 4 boys hurried to Hermione's room, leaving Ron downstairs.

* * *

"Hermione! What happened?!" Harry asked as he reached her door. Hermione turned to them, her eyes wide, tear stains noticeable on her cheeks. She was wearing a towel. Yes, nothing but a towel that covered her body.

**Hard on, people.**

"Herms…why are you _only _clad in a towel?" Fred whispered quietly as everyone seemed to freeze.

Hermione sobbed again, still clutching her towel to protect her body from the preying eyes of the males.

**"MY FAVORITE UNDERWEAR IS MISSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGG!!"**

**End of Chapter One**

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**End Notes: **So who do you think stole Hermione's Panties? Vote at my Profile! Tell me if you like it. And suggest if you want to! And the sequel to Good Morning Daughter, probably, I shall start making it along with this one. I'm not yet sure, either this week or probably next.

Leave me heartfelt reviews people.

_Love, Trinale Porsche_


	2. Ron Weasley

**Author's Notes:** Jeez! The Title is so hard to write. Haha, anyway, I'm so depressed. Enlighten me up with your feedbacks? Please do so. :P Anyway, here's the second party of the story! :)

Song of Inspiration: **Frontier Village Dali by Nobuo Uematsu **(Came to me while listening to it.)

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**Missing Underwear?**

**Please Call 1-6-7-4-T-R-I-N-A-L-E**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Hermione Granger and The Missing Underwear**

**Chapter 2: Ron Weasley**

"Someone—"

"stole—"

"your—"

"…favorite underwear?" _Ours too._

Hermione continued to sob as she sat down on her bed, giving the boys a clear view of her thighs.

.

.

.

Hell.

It was difficult to concentrate at that matter since there was something more pressing at the present.

Damn. They needed a _cold shower_.

"You mean the black one?" Harry said quietly. _One vein throbbing._

"Oh, the lacey one?" stated Draco, who looked taken aback. _Two veins throbbing._

"Yeah, with those strings and—" _And another…_

"…And nice flower designs?" _And another._

Hermione's eyes widened.

"**How did you guys know about that?"**_Ooops._

"Uhm…" Harry sweatdropped as Hermione glared at him murderously. Nice way of keeping your mouth shot, Potter. He mentally groaned and slapped his forehead.

"We…"

"We…"

"We…"

"…guessed!" George exclaimed, smiling widely at Hermione.

.

.

.

"Oh." If Hermione was at her normal state, she would have obviously seen through the lie before George could even open his mouth. Thank Merlin she wasn't.

Hermione moved again, and the towel cascaded, and was now barely covering her breast.

_Harry gulped._

"'Mione… you might wanna dress up?" Harry suggested uncertainly.

Fred, George and Draco sent him dirty looks. _Damn you, Harry._

Hermione looked down at her _current attire _and looked back to the boys.

"…"

"**GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!!"**

* * *

"Blimey Harry, you spoiled everything!" Fred laughed as they now sat in the kitchen.

"Well, I don't wanna guys checking out my bestfriend like that." Harry said defensively.

"Well, you were also checking her out, Golden Boy." Draco smirked. Harry sent him a glare as Draco continued to mock him.

"Whatever,_ ferret_."

"Yeah, _scarhead_."

"Now guys—"

"—stop it." Said Fred and George, both tapping the table lightly. Harry sank into his seat, feeling nauseous.

"Where's young Weasley?" Draco asked, placing his right cheek on his right hand which was erected on the table.

"We brought him to bed—"

"—he was whispering something about a fly in his drink—"

"—probably he's at it again—"

"—you know, delusional brother of ours—"

"—when will he ever be like us?" Draco just rolled his eyes. If there's one thing he'll never get used to, it's Fred and George finishing each other's sentences.

"What—"

Sob.

Sob. Sob.

Sob. Sob. Sob.

The four males turned to the darkly-painted door where now a fully dressed Hermione, still upset and sobbing, stood.

She neared the table, her eyes blurry with tears. Someone enveloped her in a hug, patting her back comfortingly. She calmed down a bit and continued to sob quietly on his shoulder.

3 envious eyes bore daggers at…

Draco.

'_Why's he hugging her—"_

"—_like that?"_

'_Why's 'Mione letting him hug her?'_

.

.

.

"'Mione?" All eyes turned to the owner of the voice.

Red hair, tall frame.

Ron, Ron Weasley.

* * *

"You githead, insolent prick, foul—"

"Why do you keep on accusing me?!"

"—mouthed fool! Where's my favorite—"

"I told you! It's not with me! I didn't!"

"—underwear?! Oh yes you did! You said you'd—"

"I was drunk then Mione! I swear—"

"—steal it! Swear your face, red-head!"

"Hey! What's wrong with—"

"—being a red-head?!"

"Merlin's beard, 'Mione! I DID NOT STEAL IT!" Ron shouted angrily. His head was aching due to hangover and Hermione here was adding the pain due to her **pleasant** shouts.

"How am I supposed to know that, Ron, huh?" She said, placing her hands on her waist. They were now at his, Harry and Draco's room.

"Try even checking my drawer! You won't find it, because, I don't have it!" Hermione became silent for a moment, looking thoughtful.

.

.

.

"Draco, where's Ron's drawer here?"

* * *

"See, it's not with me. I didn't get it, okay?" Ron said exasperatedly, placing a hand on Hermione's shoulder.

Hermione had spent two hours rummaging through Ron's drawer, and unfortunately(fortunately for Ron), she didn't find it. She just nodded, giving up the thought that Ron was the one who stole her panties.

"Sorry, Ron."

"It's ayt…just, don't take my words seriously when I'm drunk, okay, 'Mione?" Hermione once again nodded and just sighed as Ron left her to sleep peacefully.

She sat on her bed, feeling very depressed. It was her favorite underwear! She had been so sure that it was Ron who had stolen it, since he told her last night that he'd still one of her undies.

But what if he was under the Imperius Curse? What if someone had been plotting this for awhile now? Make Ron exactly say that he's gonna still her undies to cover him up, whoever he is?

.

.

.

**So who the hell was the one who stole her panties?!**

* * *

**End Notes:** That should be about it! Haha, doesn't mean that Ron's clarified he's not one of the suspects anymore. Nor will be the others! I'm clearly Disturbed! Oh, and you can tell me what theme would it be for next week too!

**Choices:**

**.Betrayal**

**.Romance/Fluff**

**.Friendship**

So who do you think stole Hermione's fave panties? Vote at my Profile!

Leave me heartfelt feedbacks, people!

_Love, Trinale Porsche_


	3. Fred and George Weasley

**Author's Notes: **I'm back again! Here's the Third Chapter! Whew, I visited my poll and I saw a lot of you are thinking that it's Draco Malfoy...well... We'll just have to see about that. :)

Song of Inspiration: **Ding Dong Song (You Touch My Tralala) by Gunther**

This song was absolutely funny, and I just can't help myself and sing along!

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**If Someone Stole Your Underwear**

**And You Perfectly Know Who Did...**

**Go and Steal his!**

**And Eye for an Eye, an Underwear for an Underwear!**

* * *

**Hermione Granger and The Missing Underwear**

**Chapter 3: Fred and George Weasley**

Hermione became restless about her missing favorite underwear. She was moody and very cold. And oddly, Ron was spared from all of this. Probably, that was the result of Hermione's giving him up as one of her suspects.

_Oh how they wish they were not too. Fred, George, Harry and Draco. _

Hermione sat on her bed, thinking of the possible suspects. Her right hand was absently twirling locks of her hair and her left was neatly placed on her lap. She was looking outside the window, thinking deeply.

'_The only fight I had with lately was Ron, when he was drunk…'_

'_If he didn't…and that it was really just one empty threat…'_

'_Or someone imperiused him…'_

'_Hm…If that someone did use the Imperius Curse, that must mean he's…he's able to do magic outside Hogwarts!"_

.

.

.

**Fred and George.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**But why the hell would they steal her underwear?**

* * *

"I wonder who stole 'Mione's underwear…"Harry yawned as he sat with Ron and Fred. They were currently watching Draco and George play Wizard's Chess and it was becoming very boring.

"Dunno. Do you think someone really stole it? She could have misplaced it or somethi—Ha! _Check_!" George said smugly, looking at an annoyed Draco.

"Stupid Queen, can't even do anything…Filthy mud—" All eyes turned to him, brows raised.

"…b_ath_." He finished, grinning uncertainly.

"Old habits—"

"—really die—"

"—hard, and that's a checkmate—"

"—for almost saying that word."

"What!? How did that happen?" Draco stared incredulously at his King which was surrounded now by the violent queen and tricky rook of George. Harry snickered while Ron patted George's back mumbling, "You learned from the _master_."

"That's what you call check,…_mate_." Fred and George did a high five, laughing loudly. (Duuh?)

"Whatever…" Draco rolled his eyes. His hair was still messy since his hair gel was still missing. Darn. Darn it all. He needed his frigging gel!

.

.

.

"Hey Harry, are you wearing gel?" Ron randomly said, noticing the gel in Harry's hair. Everyone turned to him.

.

.

.

"Potter." _Predator._

"M—Malfoy." _Prey._

"Uh…Weasley?" Ron butted in. In a flick of a finger, Harry was running with Draco tailing behind.

.

.

.

"Uh…Should we also chase each other?" Ron asked his brothers, blinking.

"Mate—"

"—you're hopeless." And with that, Fred and George left him sitting alone in the couch, thinking whether he should _chase himself_ or _ask Crookshanks to chase him._

* * *

"Darn, I hope everything's okay—"

"—now that we're leaving _Verity_—"

"—over the counter." Fred finished. They currently placed WWW on the hands of their assistant, Verity. They were walking towards their room when they noticed that something was blocking their way.

Or someone?

.

.

.

"H-hermione?..." George found his throat dry. And Fred felt like his head was swimming. They could feel their cargo pants tighten as they continued to stare at her.

"Why—" _I can see her inner thighs._

"—are you—" _Can't she see she's driving us nuts?_

"—wearing—" _Too loose… _

"—Fred's underwear?" _Why does it have to be Fred's?!_

And indeed, Hermione was there, wearing a yellow top and as George said, _Fred's underwear._

"Hey! That's my favorite underwear!" _Or at least, now._

_His favorite_ to be exact.

.

.

.

"Exactly." Hermione smirked, placing her hands on her hips. She wasn't quite aware of the growing bulge on the two males' pants. All she did was merely for revenge.

"Why?!" Fred asked, outraged. If there's one thing you wouldn't want to steal from him, it would be his underwear…too. And his collection of combs, and pimple vanishers and his favorite pygmy puff too… His wallet, his shades, his sweaters, his bed, his chair—In short, he didn't like his thing being stolen.

"Since I have yours, you'll have to give mine. It's a bargain." _Oh…so that was why._

"But—"

"—it's not—"

"—with us!" Fred pointed out.

"And why not steal George's underwear, don't steal mine!" _Yeah!_

"Well, it doesn't really matter at—"

"It does!" Fred butted in.

"—all. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth."

"It's not an eye for an eye! Its more of a—"

"—an eye for a tooth!"

"Wait, why a tooth? Shouldn't it be none since we don't have it?" George turned to his twin, a quizzical expression on his face.

"Just to make this fic weirder?" Fred shrugged.

"Oh."

"An eye for a tooth!!"

.

.

.

"**JUST GIMME BACK MY UNDERWEAR!!"** Hermione screamed, getting frustrated.

"I told you it's—"

"—not with us!"

"**YOU LIARS! I KNOW YOU DID IT! I KNOW YOU IMPERIUSED RON TO STEAL MY UNDERWEAR!!" **

"Imperius?—"

"—what the hell are you talking about, 'Mione?"

"Just give it ba—" But her very colorful speech was cut off…

…with Ron and Crookshanks.

"Ha! _You can't catch me, Crookshanks_! I'm not Scabbers!"

_"Meow!"_

"_Come on, faster!"_

_"Meooow!"_

.

.

.

"**OUCH!**" Ron shouted as Crookshanks reached him and clawed his groin part.

Hermione, Fred and George kept blinking at the scene, unsure on what to do. Should the laugh, or should they laugh harder?

"Hermione! Your cat!" Ron said angrily, not noticing her current attire. Hermione just stared at Crookshanks, still blinking. _The world has gone insane… And it's all because of my underwear…_

"W—what?"

"He clawed my _Tralala!_"

"Your _what?"_

"My _Ding-ding dong!" Tralalala, Tralalala… Ohhh, you touched my Tralala. Ohhh, my ding-ding dong._

And before she could even answer, Fred and George suddenly burst into fits of laughter mouthing the words 'Tralala' and 'Ding-ding dong.' And all Hermione could do was join in.

* * *

"It's really—"

"—not us Hermione. We weren't even sleeping here yesterday or the day before—"

"—yesterday. We were checking on Verity." Fred stated while George nodded in agreement.

"Okay, okay. Sorry if I ever stole your _favorite_ underwear, Fred. I really thought you guys had it…" Hermione blushed, handing Fred his underwear, she was now wearing her usual shorts that ended on her knees.

Fred merely nodded and George gave a strangled snort.

"And what's with the Imperius curse, 'Mione?" Fred tilted his head in confusion.

"You know we're _going to Azkaban_ if we ever did that." George pointed out.

"Oops, guess I **forgot** about that." Blushing a deeper shade of red.

What was happening to her? Just because of a damn missing underwear she has not been herself. And maybe, she won't be…for a very long time. And Fred and George, as they stared at her, are now quite uncertain if that was a good thing or not.

A crazy Hermione?

Definitely _not._

.

.

.

"Oh yeah, where's Harry and Draco?"

.

.

.

"Potter." _Predator._

"M—Malfoy." _Prey._

"Weasley?" _Wannabee._

_"Meeeeeow."_

**End of Chapter 3**

* * *

**End Notes: **Okay... that was definitely crazy! Oh well, if you need questions about this answer, ask away! I still need to study for my terms! Good Luck to me? :) Vote my profile : Who stole Hermione's panties?

_Love, Trinale Porsche_


	4. Harry Potter

**Author's Notes: **I'm back again...with chapter four! So true, The Ding Dong Song is one of my favorites! Anyway, to someone who had asked why Hermione hadn't used the 'Accio' spell, here's why:

Hermione, as I said in the first chapter, is currently at the age of _16_. And being 16 is still being an underage witch for her. So, she can't use magic outside Hogwarts...and they are currently outside Hogwarts since they're at Grimmauld Place 12. So that's it to it.

Sorry for the late update! (Since I usually update earlier than this.) I had to go home late, and I just finished encoding this story on Word! :)

Song of Inspiration: **Catch a Falling Star by Perry Como**

It came to me while listening to this... :)

* * *

**If you can steal one...**

**Why not steal it all?**

* * *

**Hermione Granger and The Missing Underwear**

**Chapter 4: Harry Potter**

"Where are _you_ going?" Fred turned around. He along with George was carrying an aching Ron. He was practically clutching his groin due to pain.

"We're bringing—"

"—him to St. Mungo's." George jerked his arm upward as he strengthened his hold on his dear brother.

"My Tralala…" Ron whined.

"Tralala…whatever." Hermione whispered under her breath. She spun around and headed straight to her room.

* * *

Hermione sighed and opened the door that lead to her room. Yesterday was stressful, and somehow, fruitless. She was back to zero again. Nothing at all.

She sat on the couch and thought.

.

.

.

Think

Think

Think

.

.

.

"_Sit down in our Thinking Chair and think...think...think!  
Cause when we use our mind, take a step at a time  
We can do anything...that we wanna do!"_

_._

_._

_._

"Hermione?" Somebody said behind her door. Reluctantly, she stood up and went to open it.

"—Harry?"

"Yow, 'Mione."

"Why…do you look like you've just been raped?" Hermione stared at him from head to toe. His hair was messy and his glasses were lopsided and broken. Dirt was splayed on his cheeks and his shirt was adorned with stains of mud.

"I _was_." Gasp.

"You were?!"

"Just _kidding!" _Harry exclaimed, tapping her shoulder. Hermione rolled her eyes at him and moved back to her couch. Harry followed and sat with her, his eyes scanning the room.

"So…why are you here?"

"To… escape from ferret-boy."

"Draco?"

"Hell yes! He's been chasing me all day!" _Weeeird. Ron and Crookshanks…and now Harry and Draco?_

"Uh…may I ask why?" She said uncertainly. She was not sure if she'd ever like to hear his answer.

_Catch a falling underwear and put it in your pocket…_

_Never let it be stolen away…_

_Catch a falling underwear and put it in your pocket…_

_Save it for the laundry day…_

"I stole his gel." Harry said simply.

"You stole his—_what?"_

"His gel 'Mione. Never knew you're deaf now." He smirked, feeling satisfied at her reaction.

"You're _the foulest thief_ ever! His gel! Get out of my room, Harry James Potter! I don't wanna _die_ yet!" She screamed, moving away from him. Harry just laughed but remained seated on her couch. Hermione could only look disbelievingly at him.

.

.

.

Wait…did he say **steal? **_Keyword registered._

.

.

.

"**YOU THIEF! GIMME BACK MY UNDIES!" **_Hermione Granger, __**berserk**__ mode._

"Wha—underwear? I stole Draco's gel, not your underwear, Mione!" Harry stood up from her couch, perfectly terrified and _scared._

"**POTTER! I HEARD THAT!"** A voice shouted from below.

Gulp, gulp, gulp.

"YOU! I never thought you'd stoop that low, Harry! How could you! You—you're my best friend! I—"

"Listen 'Mione! I did NOT steal it!" He shouted, his back facing her. He was quickly walking towards the door.

"Don't you dare, Harry. Don't you dare leave this room!"

Harry, however, didn't listen and stepped out of the room.

"_I dare."_

* * *

"Draco—"

"—mate!"

Draco spun around and came face to face with the Weasley twins. He raised his brow at them. He needed to kill Potter right now, and no one can ever stop him! No one! Not even them!

"_What?"_

"We know what—"

"—to do with—"

"—Herms' problem!" Fred said proudly. This mere statement made Draco forget all his recent thoughts about killing Harry.

"Really?"

"Of course—"

"—mate!"

"How?" He smirked, folding his arms on his chest.

"Simple!"

"The **Accio **spell!" Draco fell anime-style. Of course! The Accio spell. She could have ask Fred and George to do it for her since she was still an underage witch. Guess her pride got the better of her._ She always liked getting things done alone, and only by her._

.

.

.

"Well?"

.

.

.

_"Accio Hermione's underwear!"_

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

.

.

.

_Zoom!_

"It's working! We—"

"—can hear it!" And Fred came face to face with a pink panty, _literally. _

_Why does it always have to be Fred?!_

"**AHHH! MY UNDERWEARS ARE FLYING!" **Hermione shouted from upstairs.

.

.

.

_"Underwears?"_

"Draco, catch!" With an unerring skill of a seeker, Draco was able to catch another flying panty zooming into their direction.

"What the hell?"

"Why can't you be more specific, Fred!" George shouted as a beater appeared out of thin air and he started to evade and bat back the panties zooming towards his direction.

"Sorry, mate!" Fred answered as he drew another beater of his own, imitating George's actions. Draco continued to catch the flying panties zooming to his direction.

"Damn it!"

.

.

.

"**WHAT THE HELL'S HAPPENING!" **Hermione shouted, clearly angry. She was at the last step of the stairs, looking vindictive.

Suddenly, she turned to Fred and George.

"Fred, George? I thought you were at—"

"We just—"

"—came back!" They answered, still batting the underwears.

"Oh."

.

.

.

"_Why the hell are my panties flying to you guys again?"_

* * *

Harry entered his room, feeling his scar. It was scorching hot. He was in pain. This only happened when Voldemort's feeling an extreme emotion or was near.

"Damn, my scar hurts." He muttered to no one.

_"Probably it's making you remember where you hid my favorite underwear."_

Or so he thought.

.

.

.

_Oh, so there's Voldy._

"H—hermione?"

"Give it back, _Potter_." She growled.

"It's not even with me, _Granger_."

"You dare?"

"_I dare." _(Familiar?)

"Gimme back my _undy_!"

"I DON'T HAVE IT!" Harry shouted.

"You're a thief! You stole Draco's gel—"

"YEAH!" Draco shouted from downstairs.

"—and probably, you stole my favorite underwear too!"

Harry gave a frustrated sigh.

**"I.DID.NOT!"**

.

.

.

_"You didn't?"_

.

.

.

"Nope."

.

.

.

_"Oh, okay."_

.

.

.

"Sorry for bothering you, Harry." With that, she left his room, leaving Harry bewildered.

"Meeeeow."

"Crookshanks? When did you come in?" Harry said quietly, still bewildered by Hermione's sudden exit. He picked the cat and started to pet him.

_The world is becoming weirder and weirder._

* * *

"Yow."

Hermione looked up. She was currently at the living room couch, contemplating at herself these days. The missing underwear totally made her _crazy…_

But I'm not saying _she didn't like it that way._

"Oh, Draco…" He sat down beside her, grinning foolishly.

"Let me guess, by the look of your face, you got your gel back." She smiled weakly.

"That's the Hermione I know!" He smirked, confirming her guess. His hair was glistening due to the hair gel.

"Just put it aside first. Don't let it trouble you that much, Hermione."

_Put it aside first?_

_What the hell was he thinking? _

_Could he be saying that to divert my attention…_

_Could it be that he?..._

**End of Chapter 4**

* * *

**End Notes: **On why I'm favoring on Fred so much...it's just that I find his death so unfair. So, somehow, I'm doing this to give his character a little happiness. :) Who stole Hermione's Underwear? Vote my profile **NOW!**


	5. Draco Malfoy

**Author's Notes: **Thanks to those who reviewed! I'm quite amused with the Crookshanks as the theft thingy. I won't say yet who, so you'll have to read on! Anyway, a lot of you voted that it's Draco Malfoy. And this Chapter, is** HIS** chapter, so...read to the end to know if he really was the one who stole her underwear!

And the Accio issue again...Hermione's a law-abiding witch so... I dunno if he'll ever do that. I mean, look at Harry at Book 7, he only did 'Accio' when he turned 17 and was sure that the trace was off of him. And he did that when he was in a house inhabited by wizards.. the Weasleys! So... if Harry only did it when he turned 17... what more to a Hermione who's very strict regarding laws? :) I thought of the Accio problem even before I started writing this story, because I know, its a loophole. Yet, I considered this facts and now, I'm sharing them to you.

Song of Inspiration: **Gay Boyfriend by The Hazzards**

_Gay Boyfriend, Gay Boyfriend_

_I Don't Really Care that You are Queer_

_Gay Boyfriend, Gay Boyfriend_

_I Never Feel Lonely When You are Near_

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**You may never know what's inside you're drink...**

**Unless you taste it. (Meeeow!)  
**

* * *

**Hermione Granger and The Missing Underwear**

**Chapter 5: Draco Malfoy**

The day passed by uneventful. Hermione wasn't ranting anymore about her missing underwear, just how Draco had suggested. It was perfectly quiet. No more noises, no more shouts…

Draco chukled quietly at his seat. He was currently watching a video in Youtube created by Ariel Lindt. He must admit, the video was quite funny.

"What are you watching—"

"—Draco, mate?" Fred asked, who appeared behind Draco. Draco gave the twins a shrug and pointed to the Laptop Hermione had lend him. All he ever knew was to go to Youtube and search for videos. He could never understand _Muggle technology_.

.

.

.

"Woah! That's—"

"—Harry?!"

"Nope…some muggle named _Daniel Radcliffe_…though they both look alike."

"Oh…hey! That's—"

"—you, mate!" George pointed at the screen. He was referring to his twin, Fred.

"I thought so too, but nope. Now this one's a guy named Tom Felton." _We're both sexy. _Draco smirked, pointing at the said person. Blonde hair, steel eyes, prominent chin…just like Draco.

"Ain't you that! We—"

"—look like them! How about—"

"—Hermione and Ron?" Draco pointed again at two figures in the video.

"That's Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint."

"Bloody Hell!"

"Wicked!"

_Ah…the wonders of Muggle Technology._

* * *

"Hey boys! Lunch is ready!" Hermione shouted. Finally, she was finished cooking their lunch. Harry was the fastest to reach the table, and then Ron. George, Fred and Draco came in, laughing hard.

"What's funny?" Harry asked them.

"You won't believe it—"

"—but we saw Dumbledore—"

"—another Dumbledore, you know—"

"—they looked the same! So—"

"—we heard in an interview that—"

"—Dumbledore's—"

"—gay!"

.

.

.

"**GAY!?" **Harry spat, perfectly shocked. Hermione just stared at them while Ron was doing the same.

.

.

.

"You mean you didn't know Harry?"

"Hermione! You knew?!"

"Ofcourse! It was quite obvious!" She rolled her eyes. Ron gave a silent nod.

"Really? You people—"

"—knew? Well, I'm expecting—"

"—that from you, Hermione—"

"—but, **Ron**?"

"What's that supposed to mean!" Ron said indignantly, grabbing his hot lunch.

"Well…I was the one who told him." Hermione smiled.

"Oh…"

"But…he's gay! Merlin's pants! And I was with him the whole sixth year! Holy Cow!" Harry eyes continued to widen in disbelief.

"Why, Potter? _Something happened between you and Dumbly-dorr?"_ Draco smirked. Harry turned sharply to him.

"_No, but with Hagrid and me, something did."_

"**WHAT?!"**

"I was just kidding! Why are you guys taking my jokes _seriously!_" He complained, getting suspicious.

"You know Harry—"

"—it's really kinda hard—"

"—not to believe those—"

"—things."

.

.

.

"You're telling me I'm **gay?!"** _I'm not! I'm just…what?! I'm not GAY!_

"Well…—"

"Well! Have a seat, Fred, George…_Draco." _Diverting the attention from Harry to the food she had prepared. All guys turned to her. She had said _his_ name a tad bit scarier than usual. Draco raised his brow at this but took his seat nonetheless.

Everyone started to eat in silence….

.

.

.

"So Draco, am I pretty?"

"**Yes."** Ron's, Harry's, Fred's and George's eyes widened.

.

.

.

"**WHAT THE HELL?! Why did I say that?!"** Draco turned to Hermione who was smiling at him sweetly. He then looked down at his food and…

"I! I know this! This is—"

"Yes, Draco_, Veritaserum_." Everyone in the table except Hermione spat his food out.

"_Veritaserum_, 'Mione?!" Harry shouted, wiping his mouth.

"Don't worry, Harry. I only placed it on Draco's drink."

.

.

.

"Oh."

"Why?"

"Because _he_, he stole my underwear."

"Really?" _Lucky Bastard._

"Wow, Mione!" _Wonder where he hid it…_

"Nice one—" _Hmm.. maybe we can—_

"—Herms!" _–steal it from him!_

"**WHAT?!"**

"Yes you did. Now, I'm gonna ask you questions and you can't do anything but answer them _honestly!"_

_._

_._

_._

"Oh really? I can always shut my mouth, _Granger._"

"Not when I have this!" She raised a bottle of…**GEL.**

"**HEY! THAT'S MY GEL!"** Draco shouted, feeling his pockets. Damn, where the hell did she get it?

"So you mean Mione…we can ask whatever we want to?"

"Yes, that's the point."

.

.

.

"_Yeah baby, yeah." _

"_And now ladies and gentlemen, our Question and Answer portion."_

"So Draco—" Hermione started, looking at him intensely. Draco gulped.

"—who was your first kiss?" Ron cut off Hermione's question. Hermione glared at Ron.

"I…it was…_Moaning Myrtle."_

.

.

.

"**EEEW!** GROSS!" Ron said, arching his back. Fred and George started laughing, pounding the table.

"Moaning Myrtle, Draco? Eeeeew. That's like kissing Voldy." Harry said, teasing him.

"Yes." Was all Draco could say. Damn it.

"So Draco—"Hermione started again.

"—do you really sleep with a ferret stuff toy with you?" Harry cut her off.

"**HARRY!"**

"Sorry 'Mione, can't resist!" He raised his hand in mock surrender.

.

.

.

"Yes. I _love_ ferrets. I started loving them when Mad-eye turned me into one. They were so fluffly…so white…so cuddly—"

"HALT! We don't want to hear you proclaiming your love to ferrets!" Ron looking at him disgustingly. Draco was now gritting his teeth.

Damn that Veritaserum.

.

.

.

"So Draco—" She looked from left to right, staring sharply at the boys. When they stayed quiet, she continued.

"Did you—"

"—do you really sing when—"

"—you're in a bathroom?"

"**WHAT THE HELL, FRED! GEORGE!"**

"Yes." _Yes I do, I sing Gay Boyfriend by The Hazzards and what more? Uhm…Yeah! Dora!_

_Where are we going?_

_To the Beach!_

_Where are we going?_

_To the Beach!_

"Really, what song?" _Maybe we sing the same._

"**HARRY!"**

"Maneater."

"Woah! By Nelly Furtado?" _I sing that too!_

"**RON!"**

"Yes." _Grrrrr…_

_"Meow meow meow meow?" _Everyone turned to that cat, bewildered. Crookshanks had just entered the room and _had decided to join in._

_"Uh...meow?_" _What the fuck did that cat say?_

.

.

.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

.

.

.

"'Mione? I thought you were gonna ask a question?" Ron asked_ innocently._

"_WHY…Thankyou for reminding me Ronald…"_ She said through gritted teeth.

"So Draco…"

.

.

.

"Did you **steal** my underwear?" Everyone leaned, wanting to hear his answer. Hermione looked triumphant.

.

.

.

"_Which underwear?"_

.

.

.

"**WHAT!"**

"**You—you stole…how many underwears of mine?!"**

"2..20."

"**20?!"**

"Merlin's beard, Draco! You stole 20 of her underwears?!" Harry said, looking aghast.

"How come you didn't notice, Mione?" Ron asked quietly.

"I thought…I thought!" _I thought 30!_

.

.

.

"Anyway! Nevermind, another question…"

"Did you ever want to steal my_ favorite_ underwear?"

"Yes." _Ha! This is it! He'll finally admit that he stole my underwear!_

"Then…did you steal my favorite underwear?"

.

.

.

5 pair of eyes looked eagerly at Draco Malfoy. _And also Crookshanks._

_Swiper no swiping!_

_._

_._

_._

"_No." _

**End of Chapter 5**

* * *

**End Notes: **Hah! So...who really stole her underwear? Is one of them lying? Or are they all telling truth? If they are, then who the hell stole her underwear?! Vote at my Profile! A new option is added just for fun! :)

_Love, Trinale Porsche_


	6. Peace and Quiet NOT

**Author's Notes: **Well, here's chapter six! The last chapter will be tomorrow! :) I am so angry about the rescheduling of the HBP release! It's now moved to July 17, 2009 from November 21, 2008! Grrr.. I just hope its not true, but from what I researched...it is. I feel like a kid who just found out the Christmas was **rescheduled**!

Anyway, about the Veritaserum issue.

First, she was quite convinced that Fred, George, Harry and Ron are innocent. And, how was she able to conjure a Veritaserum? This chapter will explain. And, if she asked Fred or George to transfigure something into her underwear, it wouldn't be the same would it? It was her _favorite_ underwear.

I am quite glad you guys are opening this topic. I'm happy to share my answers. But let's just not let logic destroy the fun. :)

From Draco to Crookshanks! Who really stole her underwear?! Stay tuned for tomorrow, the last chapter!

Song of Inspiration: **Yellow Submarine by the Beatles **(I forgot this LOL)

* * *

**Wanted: Silence!**

**Warning: Never Sing Alone...especially if there's a mad girl with you!**

* * *

**Hermione Granger and The Missing Underwear**

**Chapter 6: Peace and Quiet—NOT **

"See! I told you he was—_what did you say?"_

"I said no." Draco smirked. It was true; he was not the one who stole Hermione's favorite underwear though he stole a lot of hers from the past.

"I—I.."

"Did you really put Veritaserum in there, Mione?" Harry asked, also convinced that it was Draco who stole her underwear.

"Y—yes."

"Hmmm…Maybe it's not working?" Ron suggested.

"Dumbo—"

"—did you ever hear—"

"—of a Veritaserum never—"

"—working?" George raised his brow at his brother.

"Well…yes. I think I read it in a book…"

"Ha! That's a fairytale book—"

"—and it's not even veritaserum—"

"—it's just water!" Ron turned red in the ears and decided to keep quiet.

"Where did you even get the Veritaserum?" Harry asked.

"I—In Sirius' cupboard. I **nicked** some of it."

"**Bloody Hell!** Sirius' keeping that stuff on his cupboard? I wonder why…"

"Dunno…maybe to _poison_ you, Ron." Hermione rolled her eyes. Ron turned red again and decided, _this time for real_, that he'd keep quiet.

"So that just means, Hermione, that I'm not the one who stole your _favorite _underwear." Draco said in mock understanding. Hermione shot him a glare and turned back to her thoughts.

"Whatever…" She murmured.

.

.

.

"Mione, why don't you take a rest first? You've been restless this past week." Harry suggested, earning grateful looks from the rest of the boys.

Hermione sighed and just gave a nod. She was tired, yes. She started to head for upstairs. And as she reached the last step…

"_Draco, I still want my 20 underwears back."_

.

.

.

"**Damn."**

* * *

"Poor—"

"—Herms."

"She really must—"

"—love that underwear." _Yeah, we do too._

"Well, at least, we'll get some peace and quiet now." Harry shrugged, thrilled by the thought.

"Yeah." Draco merely nodded.

Ron continued to stay quiet.

.

.

.

"Oh yeah, Draco! How the hell were you able to steal her underwears?"

"And 20 for—"

"—Merlin's sake!"

"It was easy." He smirked. He could still remember the first time he was able to take a peek on Hermione's drawers, and was he pleased! He never thought she wore g-strings.

"Well, would you mind spilling?"

"Yes." George and Fred made a face while Harry just shook his head.

Ron continued to stay quiet.

.

.

.

"Well…so what do we do now?" Draco inquired.

"What do you say about—"

"—a boy's night out?" Fred smiled devilishly.

"It's not even _night_ yet, mate." Harry said.

"What—"

"—ever."

"So?"

"Sure!" Suddenly, Crookshanks jumped onto Harry's arms, purring comfortably.

.

.

.

"You want to come with us Crookshanks?" Asked Harry, surprised.

"_Meeow."_

"Wow, boy's night out and—"

"—a cat."

"Hurry up, if that cat wants to come, then let him." Draco rolled his eyes.

"Okay…"

Ron continued to stay quiet.

.

.

.

"_Oh yeah Crookshanks, have you seen Ron?"_

"Meeow." _The hell I care._

"What's it saying Draco?"

"Wh—why me?!" Draco asked, looking taken aback.

"You're a** felinetongue** aren't you?" Harry teased.

"Yeah, Potter, and you're a _cocktongue_."

* * *

Ron sat quietly as he watched his 'friends' leave the kitchen without even noticing him.

"_And I'm all alone…in the yellow submarine…"_

"_We all live in our yellow submarine,  
_

_Yellow submarine, yellow submarine  
_

_We all live in our yellow submarine,  
_

_Yellow submarine, yellow submarine—"_

"**SHUT UP, Whoever's SINGING!"** Shouted someone from upstairs.

.

.

.

And Ron continued to stay quiet.

* * *

"_Finally! Peace and quiet!" _Hermione sarcastically thought. She went into her study table and sat on its chair. She began to scribble furiously, her eyes glistening with malice.

"_Ha! If they think I am going to ever give up on my favorite panties! They're wrong! That'll be when hell freezes over! BWAHAHAHA."_

* * *

**At around 10 pm…**

"That was frigging—"

"—funny! Oh the look on—"

"—her face." Fred gave George a high five.

"Or his face?" Harry silently chuckled.

"Shut it." Draco said under his breath. At the club they went to, Draco went over to a girl, or so he thought. 'She' had a nice back view so he decided to check her out. He tapped 'her' ass, preparing a smirk for her. His traditional smirk.

But when she turned around, it was… **Goyle. Goyle with girl clothes, disgustingly thick make up, and plump breasts.**

"Fucking fag." He cursed silently as they entered Grimmauld Place 12.

"Meeeeow."

.

.

.

"Ron! There you are, mate! Where were you?" Harry said, as he noticed Ron sitting alone. His mouth was dry from being quiet.

Ron slowly looked at them, his eyes bulging out.

"_I decided to have fun." _He said flatly, and then turned around again.

"Oh." Harry merely shrugged. Then Crookshanks straightly went upstairs to his master, leaving the boys.

Draco entered the room, looking around him. He was starting to get a headache from all the liquor he drank.

"Where's Ron?"

.

.

.

"Meeow." Crookshanks answered from the top of the stairs.

.

.

.

They started to head upstairs too to turn in. They passed Hermione's room and gave a shocking halt.

"What the?" Draco murmured, sticking his ear on her door. The three did the same, trying to eavesdrop.

"Damn…why didn't I think of bringing Extendable-Ears?" Harry cursed, all he heard were faint noises.

"I did." Fred said happily. He raised his Extendable-Ears for all of them to hear.

.

.

.

"_My preciousssss…"_

"She is threatening to get back _my preciousssss…_"

"But she will never get _my preciousssss…_"

"_My preciousssss _is only mine…"

"Bwahahaha!"

.

.

.

"KYAAAAAAAA!" They boys knocked down the door and headed inside her room to finally capture the culprit. But all they met was Crookshanks…and a **very angry** now-awake Hermione.

.

.

.

**Uh-oh.**

.

.

.

"**WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU BOYS DOING IN MY ROOM?!"**

"Herms! We—"

"—can explain!"

"**Hell yes, you can! You were trying to steal my underwears again, weren't you?!"**

"No! We heard something—"

"**That's why the Veritaserum didn't work because it's not only Draco who stole my favorite underwear! It's all of you!"**

"It's not even one of us! And you know that, 'Mio—"

"**I don't, Harry!"**

"Granger, calm down! You're freaking noi—" Draco said angrily, his head felt like splitting.

"**I can make noise whenever I want to!" **

"Meeeow." Crookshanks mewled in agreement.

"Shut the fuck up, pussycat."

"MEOW?!" _Pussycat?!_

"**How dare you talk to—"**

"GRANGER, you're voice!"

"—**Crookshanks like that?!"**

"Herms! If you don't shut up—"

"—now! I'm going to kiss you!"

.

.

.

And Hermione did shut up.

.

.

.

"Ouch, Herms. You don't want us to kiss you?" George and Fred looked hurt. All she did was shook her head violently.

"I guess that's a _no,_ Fred, George." Harry smirked.

"Oh yes, and she would like to kiss a _gay_ like you, Harry." Draco said through gritted teeth. Amazing! He can still throw insults while have a splitting headache!

"**I.AM.NOT.GAY!"**

"Whatever, **cocktongue**."

"Oh yeah Harry?—"

"—How about you're affair with Hagrid?" Fred and George looked at him amusedly.

"**I WAS JOKING!"**

"No you weren't. Now I know why you're always going at his cabin! Ha! To get a quick shag!"

"**Why you!"**

"HARRY, HAGRID—"

"—sitting on a tree—"

"—K-I-S-S—"

"—I-N-G!"

.

.

.

And Hermione continued to stay quiet.

.

.

.

"_Oh yeah, where's Hermione?" _Draco looked at Crookshanks innocently.

"_M-meeow?"_

**End of Chapter 6**

* * *

**End Notes: **I had fun writing this story! And I feel so sad it's going to end tomorrow. Anyway, I hope I get good marks from our term tests. And--who do you think really stole her underwear? It'll be revealed tomorrow! Vote at my Profile!

Is it...

**Draco Malfoy?**

**Crookshanks?**

**Harry Potter?**

**Fred Weasley?**

**George Weasley?**

**or Ron Weasley?**

Leave me heartfelt reviews people. :)

_Love, Trinale Porsche_


	7. The Real Culprit

**Author's Notes: **Finally! It's over! I'd like to thank all of those who reviewed! :) In this chapter, the last chapter, all of us will get to know who really is the culprit! So read till the end! And, tell me the theme for the week starting tomorrow okay?

**Betrayal**

**Romance/Fluff**

**Friendship**

**And to Rachel: **Yes, unfortunately, they're moving it to July 17, 2009! :( I feel unhappy too.

Song of Inspiration: **Maneater by Nelly Furtado**

* * *

**Thou Shall Not Assume**

**Thou Shall Not Put Cliffhangers**

* * *

**Hermione Granger and The Missing Underwear**

**Chapter 7: The Real Culprit**

The sun rose early, wakening the 6 _peaceful _teenagers currently living at Grimmauld Place 12…and a cat too.

**RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING.**

Boink.

Kapow.

Squash.

Boom!

"Lovely morning." Ron mumbled as he stared at a broken alarm clock, on his side were Harry and Draco getting back to sleep.

* * *

"Mor—"

"—ning!" Fred and George greeted as they entered the kitchen. Harry, Draco, Ron and Hermione were already around, eating their respective breakfasts. The twins looked at Hermione nervously as they sat beside her.

"Morning, Fred. George." She said flatly, still eating. Crookshanks was situated at her feet, rubbing his head on her ankle.

"Uh…"

.

.

.

"Oh Hermione, you want more sausage?"

"Nah, Ron, thanks anyways."

.

.

.

"Uh…?"

.

.

.

"Hey 'Mione, the weather's clear! What about a picnic?"

"Sure, Harry. Later maybe?" She smiled.

.

.

.

"UHHH?!"

"Fred, George?" Hermione looked at them quizzically.

"UUUUUHHH?!"

"What's with the UHH, Weasleys?" Draco raised his brow, playing with his food.

"UUUHHHHH!!"

.

.

.

"**UUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"** **RIIIIIIIIIIIING.**

"Good Hea—"

"—vens! A dream! I thougt—"

"—that was for real! Good thing it was—"

"—not! UHHH!"

* * *

Hermione woke up, her head aching. She was not able to sleep properly last night due to the boys' disturbance. She started to dress up when someone knocked at her room.

"Yes?" She called out impatiently.

"'Mione?"

.

.

.

"Harry?"

"Are you okay?..." He asked through the door. Hermione gave a small smile. Harry could be sweet when he wanted to, and it was always in perfect timing.

"Yeah! I'll be down in a minute!" She called back, much nicer now.

* * *

"I didn't steal it! NOOO! I did not! I was in the living room all night! I swear I was not the one who stole your favorite underwear! NOOOO! Don't do this to me! Don't shrink my Tralala! I love my Ding Ding Dong!! NOOOO—"

"**RON!"** Someone shouted, waking the hysteric teen. He had fallen asleep too after the alarm clock rang.

"Wha—" Then, he came face to face with Hermione.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY TRALALA! **IT'S SHRINKED!"** And he ran straight to the bathroom, knocking Harry.

"You know Mione, as much as I hate to say it, but that guy's dreaming of you." He remarked. Hermione shot him a dirty look and proceeded to the kitchen.

* * *

"So…did you wake him up?" asked Draco, who was playing with his food. A habit he got from his aunt Bella.

"Yes. But he went straight to the bathroom, mate." Harry replied, taking his seat.

"So Herms—"

"—what's this you were going to tell us?"

Suddenly, her eyes glinted with malice and she began to cackle.

"**BWAHAHAHAHA."**

"I told you her calm attitude is too good to be true…" Draco rolled his eyes, staring at Harry, Fred and George, who were moving away from the mad girl.

.

.

.

"**I've found a way! BWAHAHA!"**

"A—a way?"

"**Yes! A way to find out who—"**

"Merlin's beard! Really Hermione?"

"—**stole my underwear! BWAHAHAHA!"**

"Stop her! Her laughing is giving me the creeps!"

"Never thought—"

"—you had the 'creeps'."

"**And finally! My underwear and I shall reunite!"**

"I always had the creeps!"

"**No one is going to take away my preciooouuusss!"**

"Ha! As—"

"—what did you say 'Mione?"

.

.

.

_**Rewind.**_

"**No one is going to take away my preciooouuusss!"**

.

.

.

_**Forward.**_

"MIONE! That's it! That's the freaky phrase the thief was saying!"

"OH MY GOD HERMS! _YOU_—"

"—STOLE _YOUR_ UNDERWEAR!"

"**Wha—I did not steal it!"**

"You were the theft all along, Granger!"

"**I DID NOT! WHY WOULD I STEAL MY UNDERWEAR?!"**

"To—"

"—possess it!"

"**Why would I want to possess it if I already have it?!"**

"We dunno! You're the one who stole it!" Draco pointed out.

"**For the last time! I did not! That would be crazy!"**

"Exactly! **You're crazy!"**

.

.

.

_**Thump.**_

.

.

.

"Oh hi Ronald."

_"Hi."_ Ron waved uncertainly, staring at the scene before him. He stood up quietly. Hermione's face was red and angry while Fred and George were also red and Harry and Draco were frowning.

What the hell did he miss?

_"Meeeow."_ Crookshanks has entered the kitchen and moved to his owner.

.

.

.

"Uhh…what were we talking about again?" Harry asked, rubbing his scar. It was aching again.

"About how to _reveal_ who stole my underwear…" Hermione murmured, raising her brow at them.

"For Merlin's sake…just let her do it, Fred, George." Draco said tiredly. His head was aching again. Hermione sent him a grateful smile and took out her wand.

"Oh…Fred, take out your wand please." She said suddenly, pocketing her own.

Fred gave her a puzzled look.

"Wh—"

"**JUST TAKE OUT YOUR FUCKING WAND!" **Draco shouted, terribly pissed now. He wanted this entire fuss over. He had enough.

"Okay, okay, mate! No need to shou—"

"Just take it out Fred!" Fred sent his brother a glare and took his wand out hesitantly. Hermione went to him, and whispered something in his ear.

.

.

.

"You sure that's gonna work, Hermione?"

"Yes. Now go and do it."

_Here it is people! The moment we've all been waiting for._

_Thump._

_Thump._

_Thump._

_Thump._

"_**Underweria Lacernia Revelio!" **_

Suddenly, there was a blinding light emitting from Fred's wand.

…and it went to Crookshanks.

.

.

.

"Ha! It was your **cat** all along 'Mione!"

"Yeah!"

"Let's party people!"

"But…"

"What song do you like to play?"

"Hmm, how about—"

"—barbie girl?"

"But…"

"NOO! That's too girly! **Barney!"**

"**But!"**

"Barney! Ewww, Malfoy!"

"Hey! That's my favorite song!"

"Yeah, and mine too!"

"Oh, and mine too." Hermione added, nodding absently.

.

.

.

"Oh, okay, Barney then?"

"YEAH! LET'S parteh!"

"Yeah, and we can ask Crookshanks later for your underwear, Mione!"

"**BUUUTTT!!"**

.

.

.

All male turned to Hermione.

"_What?"_

.

.

.

"Th—that spell… Only… works…for…**humans!**" Hermione finished, heaving.

.

.

.

"**WHAT?!"**

"But…Crookshanks _not human_, isn't he?"

"…"

.

.

.

"But I swear it only works on humans… Like the Polyjuice potion."

Harry looked at her disbelievingly. It only worked for humans? How can that be? _Not unless Crookshanks really a…_

"Hermione!"

"Harry?"

"I—it's not possible is it, if, if…Crookshanks' an.." Hermione's eyes widened in realization, along with Draco, Ron, Fred and George.

.

.

.

"**..animagus?"** They all turned to the cat in question.

.

.

.

**"M…m—meow?..."** _I'm bussssted._

**The End**

* * *

**End Notes: **Haha! So...what do you think of the ending? Tell me through your reviews! SO who really is Crookshanks? That's our new million dollar question! :) Sequel is coming soon! :)

**A BIG THANKYOU TO ALL OF THOSE WHO REVIEWED.**

**WritingsOfAnInsomniac**

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Leave me heartfelt reviews, people!

_Love, Trinale Porsche_


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